little letters of frustration

To the two dudes sitting in front of me at the computers in the library,
SHUT UP. I am trying to write a paper that is due in two hours! And I don't want to hear how you both nailed your econ exams.

To certain a certain person,
You scheduled way too many performances for us and helped stress me out by doing so. You say that our school is more important than choir, but you definitely helped contribute to my lame grades this semester by asking so much of us. I don't know how to say no very well. And I got a knot in the middle of my back for the first time in my life that would twitch in pain when I was particularly stressed.

To the cold I had for 4 weeks,
I hate you.

To my bad habits of procrastination,
I hate you more.

To my English teacher,
Thanks for being so nice and letting me turn in my paper way late. I wish I was going to get it finished. It probably isn't going to happen. Thanks anyway; I guess I'll take the crap grade.

To my roommates,
Thanks for throwing me a birthday party last night. Even though it distracted me from doing this paper that I really needed to be doing. I really do love you.

To Andrew,
Thanks for being you. I wish we had more time for each other. School is stupid (and that is an oxymoron.)

To me,
Sometimes you suck. Not always, but definitely sometimes. You have got to start doing your homework on time. Take control of your circumstances and create success in your life more often. Don't give up. Keep trying. Forgive yourself. God doesn't care about your grades, he cares about your heart. Learn from this and move on. again.

Concert

Before I go to sleep, I just wanted to publicly thank my Heavenly Father. Tonight was the Ensign Music Contest Winner's Concert. ( I know, it's a mouthful, right?) We sang up in the Assembly Hall on Temple Square. We have been worrying and stressing about these songs for 2 months. 12 Songs that, we as a whole choir, participated in. For those of you non-musical people, that's a lot. A typical Choir Concert would have a more songs than that with a few choirs singing or you would have spent a lot longer on the songs. ANY WAY, It was stressful. By last week, we were all sick of these same songs and not enjoying them that much. Also, we weren't really memorized on them. Tonight as we practiced our songs for the final time before we performed, someone was always messing something up in just about every song. Well, we said lots of prayers, and left it in the Lord's hands. Brother Eggett, the conductor of LDC, says something like, big effort big blessings, to us a lot. (Bro. E. always reminds us that our purpose is to take people somewhere musically so that they can have a spiritual experience.) Well, I had put in some big effort, and I saw some HUGE blessings. Every song I sang in, my memory was enlarged and the words of the next phrase would come into my mind just before I had to sing them. It wasn't in the normal way that I have things memorized. It was in a gentle revealing way, that was unmistakably from the Spirit. So, He helped me through this concert, and a did perfectly on most of the songs and would guess I messed up tiny little things about 5 times the whole concert. So, He is there, and He hears and ANSWERS our prayers of righteous desires!

my love line

So, I've decided there are a lot of people that I love in this world. One day at the institute in Orem, Jarna gave me a palm reading. (I was laughing to myself inside as she did this. Because I don't believe in that stuff at all.) So, she looks at my "love line" on my hand and couldn't really tell me anything about when romantic love would happe for me..... ?! (great) but she did tell me there were lots of little lines leading to my main love line, which means..(because I know you're dying to know) that I have a very open heart and I love people easily. Surprisingly true, for a palm reading. If you are my friend, chances are, you've been in my prayers, I've worried about you, and I care a about you a great deal. I hurt when you hurt and I laugh when you laugh. This is a blessing to me. There is always someone for me to help, and to receive help when I need it. So, Valentine's day is 30 minutes away, and I don't have a Valentine. But I do have a lot of people I love, and that is enough. So, Happy Valentine's Day my friends!

The other thing that Jarna told me was that I will have 2 girls and 4-7 boys....... : ) we'll see about that one.