becoming

I'm a little somber tonight. It was a bit of an emotional weekend and I just can't seem to move past it. Which, if I shared the details, you would tell me it's understandable to not be past it. But I'm not going to share details. (Shocker huh! I am normally very open about my private life. But as this involves someone else, I am not going to be. Today. ) I feel inclined to share some insights. So, this probably won't be very entertaining. sorry.

Firstly, I am inclined to keep an eternal perspective as of late. This is good. I also feel like I am such a weak and simple creature; there is so much about God's all-knowing plan that I do not even have the capacity to comprehend. It amazes me how the pieces all fit together. And they always do. How does he do it? I marvel at his ability to guide, everyone's life, so that we can all learn at the rate we need to. How? I think his brain is the size of the universe.

For example. Me. When I was younger, I went through some very interesting trials. Most people my age didn't go through those kinds of things. The foundation of my testimony was built in those years. And in subsequent years it has only grown. I have no doubts about the validity of the truth found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.) Let me repeat, NO DOUBTS. I know. I have been up and down, in and through enough for me to know and no longer just simply believe.

Despite this

I still have much to learn. But, by my side, always, through the trials, is the assurance that everything will be alright. I do need Him in my life. I can't do it without him. (I can be so lame sometimes. And I hate that part of me.) He is my rock. No matter what pains and trials come my way... it will be ok. These things are for my good and will give me experience. I must be tried in all things. Not so he knows that I will always stay faithful, but so that I know I will always be true. I will then be confident in my gaining exaltation and having earned it.

Earning it is relative. None of the glories of eternity would be possible for us without the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Atonement is what enables me to let go of my fears because I cannot see the next step to take. It is what gives me the ability to smile and laugh during any trial. There is joy in the journey. He loves us. Ask for the faith promoting experiences you need to become what he wants you to be. Then they will come. And in the end you will look back and be grateful for all the messiness of life he allowed you to go through, because you will have become acquainted with God during your extremities. Nothing is more valuable than that. Nothing.

This is what I know. May you be blessed, as I have been, am now, and hope to continue to be, with experiences that pull you to your knees.

Joanna